LONGLEGS (2024)


Make sure you say your prayers.………”

FBI Agents are on the tail of a serial killer, Longlegs who has been on a killing spree for many years.

Thank the maker. It’s been a while since I’ve been proper shook by a horror film.

I love seeing a horror that is inventive, attempting something new, well made and actually being scary.
So far, this year I have seen You’ll Never Find Me, Imaginary, Immaculate**, The First Omen, Late Night with the Devil*, Arcadian, Sting, When Evil Lurks*, The Substance**, I Saw the TV Glow, Exhuma*, In a Violent Nature*, Maxxxine and now Longlegs**.

(One star for highly enjoyable and 2 for inclusion in my list of films of the year).
So, that’s 3 horror films that have made the end of year list so far.
Impressive, huh?


Everything about this film is on point. Let’s start with the acting.
Nicholas Cage for Best Supporting Actor please. I have never seen him so truly unhinged in a (mostly) contained way. Absolute mastery of the craft, his voice, his physicality, his commitment to the role, his hair and make up is outstanding.
Maika Monroe is absolutely brilliant as Agent Lee Parker, all FBI buttoned up shirt and personality, almost savant like and utterly believable.
Alicia Witt is amazing as Harker’s mother, Ruth. We hear her on the end of a telephone call before we see her and there is a brokenness in her voice that you understand as the film reveals her story.
Blair Underwood is a sturdy actor, who I haven’t seen for a while but here he brings his usual grounded, believable characterisation to the role of Agent Carter.

Some of the smaller roles are equally brilliant with Shafin Karim giving some light relief as a Doctor who the FBI agents interview. Kiernan Shipka gives a masterful performance as Carrie Anne Camera, a patient who has recently come out of catatonia and delivers some truly creepy lines with a monologue in a way that is both unexpected and unnerving. Great acting choices.

Bea Perkins (the director’s daughter) is also fantastic as a teenage shop clerk who is all millennial and unimpressed.

And now let’s talk a bit about the director, Osgood ‘Oz’ Perkins. His background is fascinating and goes someway to understanding his work.
He is the son of Norman Bates himself, Anthony Perkins, who died in 1992 from AIDS and Osgood’s mother was Berry Berenson, and actress and photographer who was on American Airlines Flight 11when it was hijacked and crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Centre on September 11th 2001. Osgood has admitted in interviews that he uses movies to explore the trauma he has experienced.

He is clearly channeling something visceral and close to the bone when making his films.

“Aaaah, there she is”

The music plays a big part in creating an atmosphere of dread conceived by Zilgi, a pseudonym for Elvis Perkins (the brother of the director). It has a pulsating drive to it that is ominous and fear-inducing. Exquisitely horrifying.

When I saw the very disappointing Maxxxine recently they showed the trailer for this and I turned my head and covered my ears. I wanted to go in as uninformed about the Legs of Long as possible. Having seen the trailer since, I realise it gives little away.

If you like your horror truly terrifying go and see Longlegs in a darkened cinema with an audience. The only true way to see films, especially great horror films. This truly is a great. Silence of the Lambs given the Satanic treatment. Absolutely brilliant.

1Hr41Mins

THE SUBSTANCE (SFF 2024) CLOSING FILM


Body horror at its finest, most fucked up and entertaining.

Taking visual cues from Stanley Kubrick and special effects from the maestro of b horror, David Cronenberg this ups the ante and goes where you won’t imagine.

So strap in and let French director, Coralie Fargeat (Revenge) take you on a hilarious satirical journey on ageing, the fetishisation of youth and commentary on self worth.

This was the closing film at this year’s, the 71st Sydney Film Festival, and fair play to the organisers for picking it. This is not for the faint hearted and if you get, in any way, squeamish about the body and gore of any kind, please give this a miss. You have been warned.

Demi Moore as Elisabeth Sparkle in The Substance

Demi Moore as Elisabeth Sparkle in The Substance

Demi Moore makes the comeback of comebacks playing Elisabeth Sparkle, a one time star, who is being forced out of the industry by her age (It’s still me!!!!!) and is given a hard drive entitled The Substance that upon viewing is promised a chance at a better version of herself and, like many who go down the plastic surgery route IRL, she grasps at the branch of youth with the verve of a thirsty desert dweller.

Years ago, I saw a film called Society that this reminds me of. I love it when horror makes social statements and The Substance makes a powerful and important one about the fear of ageing especially to women and women in the spotlight.
I get why they would have cosmetic work done, they are surrounded by beauty that they are constantly having to compete with but age will not be beaten, it’s a losing battle. 

I’m not telling you anything else apart from the acting is fabulous, from Demi Moore, the talented Margaret Qualley and the always sturdy Dennis Quaid, here having an absolute riot playing an absolute knob.

A Warning.......

A Warning…….

The cinematography by Benjamin Kračun owes much to the sensibility of Kubrick and the music supervised by Guillaume Baurez is pulsing, driving and intense and fits perfectly with the images.

The Substance won Best Screenplay at Cannes this year and I’m not surprised, it seems like the kind of film that the folk at Cannes would love having recently been wowed by Julie Ducournau’s Titane.
What is it with the French and body horror, they loved Crash as well, it premiered there and won the Special Jury Prize.

Maragret Qualley in The Substance

Maragret Qualley in The Substance

I loved this film, it is so balls out or tits out crazy that it deserves the accolades. It is also a horror film, which rarely get the kind of critical recognition they deserve.

Strap in and bring a sick bag, it’s going to be rough if you have a weak stomach.

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